Photo By Leah Smith Branding
Last night I hit a wall and was experiencing yet another Dark night of the soul. One of those moments where you know you're at the edge of a new beginning feeling done with how things have been and eager for better. A death of the ego. Severe pain and discomfort over certain human circumstances. I can't truly explain what triggered it. It felt sudden but there was a gradual decline in my energy until it left me in my car sobbing. The surrender of holding it all in and together until you collapse under the weight of it all. Something inside of me led me to check our rise email, I felt called to look for a response from the email I had sent where Jillian and I had completed a "Remove the Block's" session. There was a response that I had not yet seen which had come through a few days ago. Vulnerably this amazing soul was sharing how the pain that I picked up on in my energy clearing portion was so intense prior to this session being performed that it literally had her in the car crying… exactly the place I was in emotionally mentally and physically while reading this. It is unreal how connected things are in life. And it is amazing how even though things feel like they are moving in an optimal positive direction the fear can flood back in and knock us off our joy horse. It doesn't matter how many goals/resolutions you set, how many inspirational insights you have, how much you manifest, how much money you have, how surrounded and full of love you are, and how often you do the work. The pain and fear is an inevitable part of our human experience and eventually it rears its ugly head and no matter how old we get or how much we do the work it always feels scary, uncomfortable, heavy, bigger than us and knocks us off our feet for the time being. I have to say in that moment of "weakness", full of fear, doubt, uncertainty and grief over how unfortunate/disappointing circumstances/people/things can be in life sometimes, I had such a beautiful moment of connection and remembering the power and value of my gifts and the meaningful soul purpose I serve the world with. I read the words in this email and how Jillian and I both bring light into the world with our authenticity and how reading key channeled words in the energy clearing portion of her distance session "had me in absolute tears. Instantly. It's uncomfortable to be seen when your inner child spent so much time learning to hide... It was deeply validating... I feel my inner child appreciated being seen."
I resonated with this so deeply. I have gone my entire life desiring and fearing simultaneously being seen, heard and appreciated in my truth and full expression. It is such a gift to do work that I feel so passionate and grateful for, it saved me back in 2020 when I was experiencing my first dark night of the soul. When I was experiencing severe trauma that had become very physical that doctors and specialists could not identify. They couldn't determine the root cause or help stop my very real very scary extreme symptoms. I felt scared for my life and very vulnerably I share my life felt so heavy and hard I wondered what was the point. My daughter and my love for her was the why that led me to remember my presence here holds meaning, value and purpose and I cannot leave her behind. I was desperate for better and for a path which held more light. I had completed my bio energetic therapy sessions as a client and reached out seeking for the recording of the discovering authentic self session which was where I was led to discover for myself what my purpose was - Harmony. After receiving my email, my bio energetic therapist's assistant responded that she wanted to arrange a call. This video call led to me to tears because it was an answer to my soul's pleas for support and guidance towards my true path, purpose and calling. I later found out I came to her in meditation and then affirmed her vision/soul knowing when she then received an email directly from me leading her to launch her school which I was one of 3 to pioneer in 2020. This was the start of me becoming certified in Chakra Balancing and as a Bio Energetic Therapist and Reiki Master. I have chills typing that, the level of gratitude I have for the love support and guidance from the divine is next level. So thankful for the way which God/Goddess/Source/The Universe/Spirit/Angels/Ancestors and my higher self guide and provide answers to my prayers 🙏.
Even when we feel in the dark, alone, unprotected and disconnected we never are abandoned or any of the things our mind tells us from that low vibrational down place. I cried when she offered me the opportunity, I told her she has no idea how much it meant to me and how much I needed this at this time of my life. I said yes. She said take 3 days. I said no I don't want doubt or fear to take me out, I know this is something I need and I don't want to have anything interfere with it. So without all the details I committed and it is one of the most profoundly powerful and transformative decisions I have made. Through this training I became a Reiki Master, I learned about the chakras in such a deep and meaningful way and how to use pendulums, my own mind/body/energy, cards and candles as powerful tools. This work is next level and there is truly no limit to how deep it can support and enrich the human experience.
I am able to harmonize the inner conflict between the ego/human pain, fear, suffering and the soul's inner knowing and guidance allowing the fear and pain to melt away and no longer interfere with the truth. This then allows space and gives the soul permission to rise and express the truth in order to shift the reality of what is being experienced. I am an alchemist of energy. I use this work on myself and others daily. It never ceases to amaze, inspire, delight, satisfy, thrill, ignite, guide, connect, support, expand and fulfill me. As my mentor always says "you just can't make this stuff up".
I know how it feels to be in the dark. I know how it feels to feel golden and in the light. I know both are valid and a part of the human journey. I also know we don't have to stay or choose to live and hide in the dark that there is some really incredible support available to support you in moving through to the light rather than trying to stumble through and find the way out all on your own. We aren't meant to go it alone. There is no shame in experiencing the low or being down. I am not burdened by others pain, hurt, fear or suffering. We are all birthed from this empty space, it is what leads us to our truth and to become something truly incredible. What I do is a result of having experienced my own dark, uncertainty, fear, lack, and suffering. I once felt I was a burden and would hide when in a low but I am here to remindus all what my own journey through having dark nighta of the soul has allowed me to recognize, we are all unconditionally worthy of love and support and we are all here for a divine purpose. Something beautiful and bright lies ahead and is on the horizon- you are on your way. Trust and believe in yourself. You were made for abundance 🦋
I was born to support people and love them, see them, elevate them, guide and shine a light for them through the darkness. To lead them through the fear to feeling the warmth of the light so they can recognize their worth and feel joy, love, acceptance, clarity, connection, beauty, expansion, awareness, inspiration, gratitude and value in being alive. I love who I am and what I do and the way I support and love people so they can be held and inspired to become their next level self. I believe in, appreciate and love you. I am deeply grateful for my soul aligned clients, my gifts, and that wave of bliss, ease, light, expansive, joy, relief and harmony that we alchemize to each class/session. It has become my trademark.
Heart to Heart, Shoulder to shoulder, hand in hand we are all walking eachother home to harmony 🕊
Thank you for your trust. I say it from the depths of my soul, it is an honour to support you on your journey and I thank you for allowing me to fulfill and serve my soul's mission and purpose 🥲🤗🙏
With Deep Love, Gratitude & Compassion,